I recently connected with a fellow Torontonian (trust me, we’re everywhere) based in the Cairo office of the company I work for and naturally we’ve been trading stories of how we ended up on this side of the world. In one of our many ramblings she shared with me that on her last day in Toronto, her moms parting words to her were: “You’re looking for something to make you feel at peace and you can’t seem to find it anywhere. I hope you find it.” Obviously this sparked a need to analyze my self in my current journey.
Am I looking for something to make me feel at peace? The answer is no. If I think about my life in Toronto, I was 100% at peace; but I was also too comfortable. Comfortable to the point that life became so routine that I quite honestly became uninspired and felt like I had creatively hit a never-ending plateau of average. Furthermore, I learnt years ago that the only peace worth seeking is peace within and I make a conscious effort to not let even the most stressful and tiresome situations affect my core. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again now – I wake up and choose happiness.
So if I’m not looking for peace and not looking for happiness then what am I looking for? I’ve always been hyper aware of my emotions and how things, places and people impact my life and make me feel. With that being said, I think my current path is a reflection of my desire (quite possibly an obsessive desire) to conquer new situations. I cannot express how much I loveeee being tossed out of my comfort zone and the challenges that come with that – the tougher things are, the more likely I am to thrive. I find it downright enjoyable. This is a fantastic character trait to have if you’re purely focusing on your career (like I am currently). But I definitely acknowledge that it has terrible implications if you’re trying to build a meaningful relationship with someone. Unless of course, you find a soul that wants to run wild with you! (Relationship goals my friends, relationship goals!)
What’s the end goal? It’s simple really. At the end of the day, all I want is to know that I’ve gained as much knowledge as possible and that I’ve had a positive impact on the people I’ve been lucky enough to share my life with. What greater legacy could I leave behind?
Till next time! xo